Over the years we’ve been together, I have gotten many questions, and raised eyebrows when people realize my husband is 17 years older than me. By the way, I get it…I would have thought I was a gold digger, too if I would have seen us out. So here’s a list of questions I get asked with my straight up honest answers:
1. Are you with him for the money?
Nope, at the moment, I actually make more money and am the wiser one when it comes to money (he’s better at being the calm one in almost every situation.) I actually make it on my own without his money. In fact, we still haven’t even joined bank accounts due to his Canadian citizenship.
2. Does he need a little blue pill?
I am pregnant (naturally!) and that’s not from issues in the bedroom. I am not saying it won’t be needed in the future, but for now, all is working very well 🙂
3. Aren’t you afraid he’s going to die on you?
I’m afraid anyone will die on me. I grew up with people my age dying on me, people who should’ve lived full lives. None of us are promised tomorrow, or even the rest of the day. I admit this question bothered me in the beginning, but then I read an article about a 27 year old that lost his wife to ovarian cancer. It made me realize that I was worrying about something I have no control over.
4. Don’t you think it’s unfair to your baby to have a dad that old?
Hello, do you not watch Modern Family?! Jay and Gloria right here. Okay, okay I am nowhere near Sophia Vergara in the looks department, but my bust may be soon due to this pregnancy. For real though, no. I think there’s a lot of things that are unfair, but having two parents who love and care for you is definitely not one of them.
5. What will you do when he’s old and wrinkly, and you’re still young?
Get him some Botox! Just kidding; I will say, just love him. You know, it’s funny. When I look into his eyes, I see him. I see his core, and that is who we always are. All of us are always somewhere between 16-25 in our own minds (even if our bodies no longer feel that way), carefree, with the whole world at our feet, and that’s how I will choose to see him.
6. What if you have to take care of him someday?
Then, I have to take care of him someday. Isn’t that what we promise to do when we marry? Who knows, it may be that he has to take care of me. Life is full of unknowns, but I won’t let that stop me from living it.
7. You’ll be working long after he’s retired, doesn’t that bother you?
I like working; I find joy in making money, and knowing I created it. That being said, he’s worked for longer than me simply because he has lived longer than me. It would be unreasonable and a bit psycho to expect him to work to 80, just so I feel it’s fair when he’s already worked for 30 years.
8. How can you have anything in common?
Weirdly, we have a lot in common. We laugh a lot about the same things, and enjoy throwing “That’s what she said” jokes at each other. We also both really like 90s music, travel, cooking and trying new foods, and photography. We love dogs, our kids, and believe a strong relationship help makes the rest of our world go ‘round. The thing we have most in common? We’re crazy about each other and we believe in respecting one another.
There are a lot of myths about age-gap couples, and some stereotypes which do have a strong base in reality. At the end of the day, I found someone who loves me and I love him. We have one of those loves that would’ve made me nauseous before I experienced it for myself.
Don’t be afraid to love someone because the world doesn’t get it; you may never have a second chance to be with the love of your life. To me, love conquers all fears and casts out doubts. When you know, you know, regardless of age.
XO,
Ashley
Ashley Portals 