On a beach at sunset, one we’d been to many times before, the sky was turning pink and purple, and I was happily unaware of anything else in the world. Kevin was following me around as I, like a child, jumped from shell to driftwood to tide pool in wonder. I am always happiest in nature, especially those times when it seems it’s all for you, and you alone…when your only audience are the seabirds. We kept chatting, and wandering the beach, and then he suggested we walk up to a rocky outcrop we always visit when we go. It juts out onto the beach, and stands about 20 feet above the sand, but you have an amazing viewpoint from up there. We would always end our beach trips there, as the rest of the sun dips below the horizon. Of course, I was snagging a panoramic shot of the view, and Kevin was making sure I didn’t fall off as I did it. When I had gotten the perfect one (after several because I always go too fast or slow for iphone!), he began to fiddle with a ring he had given me months earlier on this same beach. It was one I had pinned on Instagram that he had gone out and found all by himself. I wore it everyday, and I loved that he had taken time to seek it out and buy it for me…true stealth. He told me something like he was thinking I needed something nicer, that this one wasn’t a “real” ring, and that he thought he should replace it. To which, I poo-pooed him, but then as I said this, he was down on one knee staring up at me. I feel like women never remember exactly what was said to them during a proposal, but I think he said it would make him very happy to be together and that he loved me like he would never love anyone else. I also remember him saying there was no rush to get married, and I could do it in my own time, since my last memories of marriage were still painful ones. He told me he’d be patient, and then I don’t remember what happened other than we were kissing. I was crying, I had dropped my phone to the ground, I had not seen this coming-at least, thought it’d be a couple of more months. We gave each other a huge bear hug, and that is the only photo we have from that moment. Needless to say, he surprised the heck out of me, but it was a wonderful surprise. It was not at all how my perfectionist-self had imagined it- I was wearing a boring dress, no makeup, wild wind-done hair, and
I actually had to pee really bad and was about to say so right before he dropped down on one knee. However, it was better than I could have imagined-the simplicity and sincerity of that moment-perfectly imperfect. I realized that’s what we are to each other-perfectly, imperfect. We walked off the outcrop, side by side, smiling and happy.
We kept our engagement between the two of us for a bit, our big romantic secret. I loved that we had this happy secret- we got to relish it before all the big questions came from friends and family: where will you live, when’s the wedding, where’s the wedding (everyone knows me so well!). Sometimes, it’s nice to just be two people in love, to hold on to those sweet moments as long as we can…
Love and Luck,
Ashley
Ashley Portals 