I would best describe my current body as doughy. After my life fell apart, I gained 30 pounds, which is when I finally gave in, and put on the sausage casing we call shape wear. I can confidently say it was one of the lowest points of my life. It meant I had lost control of my body, something I had always had a decent command of. Now, I had lost that too. I cried. Everything in my life had basically failed, and this was the physical manifestation of it (that and the grey hairs my sister would point out as she dyed me younger). My sweet boyfriend continued to tell me how beautiful I was, but all I could see was cellulite, a pudgy belly, and thighs that got rashes from touching when I did attempt to run it off. I was eager to step into my shape wear and look svelte in my new dress, but all that happened was my extra fluff squished out the top adding a back roll to my entourage.
I belittled myself for letting myself go, for huffing and puffing as I ran up and down the stairs, and for just play ignoring this very obvious problem. In the midst of my self-induced shame spiral, I realized something as I was staring at my sad mug in the full-length mirror. I didn’t need shape wear for my body, I needed it for my mind.
You see, I truly believe we can manifest the things we need and want in our life. I also believe that manifesting things you don’t want is (unfortunately) easier to do. As humans, we have a tendency to focus on the negative. Apparently, science somewhere says that’s our brain’s way of protecting us. We are constantly scanning the horizon for threats and ways to keep us alive.
My body was an outer manifestation of the turmoil in my head, in my life, and I knew I had to change how I thought about everything. I decided to start out doing small things like preparing fresh juice and keeping a food diary. I started out at 178 pounds, and y’all, I have not given birth to any children. The only excuse I had was I was letting my situation get the best of me. Once I mastered these small things, I was on a sudden roll, and for the first time in my life, I actually look forward to working out. You see, the whole time I knew my ass was getting wider than a dump truck, but I made excuses, and then I was fat. It was that simple. Now, I really want to be healthy, and if being skinny is a by product, I won’t complain.
How do you stay healthy?
Love and Luck,